At the other end of the spectrum you’ll get Hearing Impaired types which may range from a slight or temporary loss of hearing that doesn’t really significantly affect the day-to-day living of that person, they tend to associate within the hearing world and are not familiar with Deaf culture. They may be late-deafened adults who wear hearing aids or people that have been given Cochlear Implants when they were a baby and so have developed an auditory brain and coping mechanisms that rival their hearing peers. They will usually be oral which means they speak and write in English and do not know Sign Language (or whatever is the dominantly spoken language of their country of course). Hearing impaired people typically have some degree of lip-reading skill and often their slight disability is invisible to others except for the occasional missed word or sentence in noisy situations.

In the middle of the spectrum I would put those that are “Hard-of-Hearing” or possibly they associate themselves as a lower-case “d” deaf. These poor guys probably have the biggest challenge to overcome because they may have moderate-to-severe hearing loss but still try to be oral and participate in the hearing world or they may perhaps be a mix of Sign language/Oral and dip in and out of the Deaf world. The Hard-of-Hearing (or HoH) struggle a lot to keep up in the hearing world because speech perception is one of the first things to take its toll when you have severe hearing loss but there is still access to a lot of sound via hearing aids/Cochlear Implants. HoH may or may not associate with the Deaf Community and it often depends on the family background, for example children that are HoH and have hearing parents may not have been raised with Sign language and will have gone to Mainstream schools with the help of note-takers. HoH people can be pretty isolated as they get excluded when it comes to hearing social events and they may find it difficult to communicate with Deaf people as they do not known Sign Language. That said, there have been many cases of HoH & orally raised deaf people that make a transition over to the Deaf community later in life when they start to learn sign language either by meeting the right kind of patient and understanding people or taking lessons on their own initiative, but then there are many that do not and live out a life feeling different and excluded…

Now for those who are still reading, hopefully you’ll have the beginnings of a better picture about what “Deafness” is and indeed how being “Deaf” can differ from being “deaf”… If you’re wondering, I currently feel that my own cultural situation lands somewhere between the “Hoh” and “Hearing” end of the spectrum as I never was taught how to Sign and I have fared pretty well in the Hearing world via lip-reading and contextual prediction of what people are saying.

At camp, there were moments of frustration when I had difficulty with “unlearning” the English order of structuring sentences in favor of ASL’s. For example in spoken and written English a typical sentence may have an Object-Subject-Verb order of phrasing whereas American Sign Language tends toward Subject-Verb-Object. This fact alone meant that even if I knew what all the hand signs meant, I was not easily able to understand if the signer was asking me a question or telling me an answer with in a conversation…

Often-times we ended up just having someone type into my laptop the ASL dialog and then I could read and follow along. This turned out to be the best method at least when the discussion was moving along swiftly and I wouldn’t have been able to keep up if we hadn’t had done this so I am of course very grateful for everyone that took turns in being my interpreter.

Overall Having a solid two-week exposure to the Deaf end of the spectrum has given me a glimpse of what it’s like to not having to strain and struggle to hear conversation and I really enjoyed the fact that I could start relaxing into an easier and more fluid visual method of communication. I feel lucky that I was with a bunch of great and really patient campers that gave me a real cram course in American Sign Language (ASL). I would say that this has been a pivotal moment for me as I really enjoy signing and participating in the deaf community. The question is really whether I can still focus on my own music and personal development and keep investing time into learning ASL and teaching… I think it can be done but may see me dipping in and out of both ends of the spectrum. I’d love to combine both the hearing and deaf worlds into one big moment though and have ideas on how to proceed with this…

Back on topic though, now that we have an understanding of Deafness, we need to next ask.. What is “Music”?

The question that we were asking both the adults and teenagers right at the beginning of camp and it’s one that gets right to the heart of the matter; What is “Deaf Music”?. Everyone of course had different ideas about what the answer could be so we had many discussions and brainstorms trying to find common ground and form some conclusions about what works and what doesn’t work when applying our theories in a practical manner.

I personally found it easier to come to some sort of understanding by breaking the question up into two parts so let us begin!

What is “Deafness”?

I’ll admit to being slightly on the ambitous side and wanting to take every sort of musical instrument and device with me so that I could be prepared for anything however the cost of a car rental was too phrohibitve in the end and my car-borrowing-leads fell through… Thinking about it though, I can still be prepared for anything, after all the mojo is all up here *taps forehead*.

Rosa the camp director agreed that this was all a sensible course of action and wasted no time in buying a plane ticket for me which immediately was a relief as I no longer had to worry about running around securing equipment not to mention the prospect of a grueling 10 hour drive that could potentially wipe me out before I even got started at camp!

So I finished up what I could of my work to keep my various web clients happy, said goodbye to my NY friends and now here I am at camp!

It’s truly beautiful here, pictures to follow soon I’m about to meet my fellow camp counsellors and the adult students tomorrow. No idea what to expect really but It’s going to be incredibly exciting. Tune in for more updates soon folks.

Affordable Percussion Ensemble?

Inevitably all logistics are turning to the equipment needs, the camp does not have much in the way of sound equipment like a PA and mixer let alone instruments and amplifiers. We are debating hiring instruments but I had the idea of bringing all the equipment that I have access to here in NYC with me and driving myself over to Michigan. Rosa has given me a travel budget that would cover the gas but not much else.

I know I will have to invest some of my own money into this endeavor to make it happen. I’m not afraid to do this because I’m starting to feel like at this point I exist for nothing else but to change the perception of music and deafness however I am looking at car rental budgets and wincing at the $1,100+ quotes for a 2 week car to MI and back to NY. I could also rent a car one-way to MI for $330 but that would bring the round trip to $660 which is again a bit out of my budget. I’m a bit stumped as what to do now to make this dream a reality. I wish I could borrow a vehicle for two weeks but alas all of my NYC friends of course don’t have cars…

Is there a generous soul out there that would let me borrow their unused vehicle for two weeks from July 16th to 31st? If anyone reading this is interested in helping a pioneering cause please get in touch: myles(at)debastion (dot)com.

I immediately emailed the camp director to see if they would be interested in having an extra volunteer for the duration of the camp. Eventually they got back to me and said that I was very welcome to come and participate, wow exciting! Shortly after that however it was revealed that out of all who signed-up, only a handful had followed through and paid up for the camp. After-all, this is the first ever camp of its kind completely dedicated to music and deafness, talk about pioneering new ground!

So there were going to be at least half a dozen kids, not really enough money had been raised to pay all the staff and several of the teachers dropped out, this was when Rosa (the camp director) asked if I would take on the responsibilities of the sound and music program… Whoa, quite a big step up in responsibilities but one that I gladly accepted.

At times I wonder if I really have all the skills and abilities to actually teach deaf people music but these thoughts are quickly vanquished when I realize that the entirety of my being is dedicated to over-coming the hurdles of being deaf, the catalyst for this is music.
Music is communication, confidence, sharing and being present in the moment with yourself and others. I live every day in the pursuit of connectedness, that is being and engaging with people, shying away from the isolation of not being able to hear speech in many situations, coming out of one’s shell and eliminating the barriers and negativity that surrounds us all.

At the end of this week, I hope that if all my planning goes well, I will embark on a mini-journey out into the unknown and learn things about myself and others that I never had a chance yet to discover.

The ability for me to go up to someone and tell them that I am deaf but have something to say or would like to talk should they have the patience implies a trust that they are willing to do so, even if begrudgingly.

To be told that I am standing too close to you and that you are uncomfortable is not an unreasonable but it betrays my trust with a complete lack of empathic understanding. I tell you that if I step back, I won’t be able to hear you any more because background noise will be louder than your voice. I hope that if you understand, you will be able to trust me as I want to trust you.

It turns out that even if I have the courage to make my needs known, there are those like you that simply do not care. You simply are repulsed by my physical handicap even though it is an invisible one, you have not the capacity to see the other good things that I bring with my as a friend. You are not big enough to be my friend.

That is alright, I can respect that. We don’t have to be friends. I thank you for showing me that not everyone can be trusted, I can fend for myself even if there are a lot more people out there like you. I get better all the time at reading the faces and body-language of all those I meet. I will hone instincts that, at my core tell me whom I can trust with my vulnerability.

The City, where everything is dirty and uncompromising.

I am back, in my home-town of NYC where I lived, loved and laughed for three-and-a-half years before I cut ties to all of my responsibilities in the fall of 2010. I moved out of my apartment, separated myself from my band and went through a break-up with my girlfriend at the time. There is no wonder that this period of my live was an especially heavy one as it felt like my life was collapsing around me and I had brought it upon myself with thinking that I needed to return fix my hearing before I could continue in life. You can actually travel in time and read my blog entry back then that kick-started this whole adventure.

I write here not to wallow in despair at all the things that don’t go according to plan on my journey but more to document my first-hand experience of turning each situation around into a positive one. I want to show to myself that even if a situation itself doesn’t change, you can always turn yourself and your mind-set around to see the optimistic side of any challenge thrown in front of you. After-all this is usually the one thing that is easier to change than trying to control the circumstances around you.

When I moved out of my apartment last year it was a little disconcerting at first because suddenly I had no address to really call my own any more, but next to sink in was a more positive realization that I no longer had the burden of savagely devoting all my time and energy to raising money each month to pay a pretty colossal amount of rent. With that, a sensation of weight being lifted off my shoulders came. It was a really nice moment to become aware of the shedding of responsibility was connected with my feeling lighter and less-burdened. After all, if you think about the pre-requisite of being tied to an address, a single place in the Universe is a very fictional construct that makes humans feel a little more comfortable with themselves and each other.

So here I am on that land-mass that reasonably self-aware creatures stumbled upon and decided to call America, I am high off the ground in a little fortress made of concrete and bricks, watching the traffic and days perpetually go by, in a city built by millions that call themselves citizens of New York City.

If you want to go on with naming our short-lived entities then I can also tell you that I am hunkering down at the Ronin Guitars shop, for some very important people in my life also happen to be here. People that are trying to do something amazing and worthy of a whole blog post all of their own…

Rather than be pulled into a vortex of spiraling depression, I marveled at the resilience of my mind when I began to pull my negative thinking into a positive space once more.
I can remember really the exact day, time even that I stepped forward into that important optimistic state of mind. It was at The Crown Inn, Tiddington’s main pub, England. On a Saturday evening for I had been invited by Karen Maslen, a most kind-hearted and jolly woman that told me I could perform at the newly established Open Mic Jam that her husband had organized.

The last time I had played in public was last Winter with my NYC-based band Vinyette and in fact having never really performed by myself before, alone in the spotlight, I was rather uncertain as to what might happen, but before I describe the tale of what went on to be…

I want to tell you that as a musician, artist and to be honest; to the core of the very person that I am, I am an improviser. I don’t really play songs in the manner like most people would expect from any musician, instead I never play anything the same way twice. So in true improviser fashion I did not learn any songs or prepare anything except for the guitar sound that I wanted to play with.
I embraced the unknown, telling myself that the worst that could happen would be that the sound stops and people stop listening, no big deal really.

At first, my nervousness crept up and into the way of my performing, I had never played the guitar going through my laptop and then out of a PA (Personal Amplification System) before so I was not used to the sound at all. Not being used to the sound meant that I have no memory of what the sound could and should be like when I am hitting the strings on the guitar a certain way. Without this memory, I am exposed to the harsh reality of a sound as I perceive it on stage via my hearing aids. Loud volume sound hitting a tiny microphone behind my ear becomes distorted because of the microphones miniature-size and further yet, this signal is shaped and manipulated by the digital processors encased within the aids before getting amplified and tunneled down a plastic tube (a part of the hearing aid mold that sits in my ears) that can raise or lower a sound in pitch depending on how long it is… finally ending up funneled into my very deafened ears that are incapable of perceiving frequencies higher than 2,000khz.
When I play through equipment at high volume that is NOT generating a very pure (analog and unprocessed) sound-wave like say a trumpet or a guitar plugged into a valve amp without any pedal effects, I am engulfing myself in a muddy, cacophonous mess with barely any definition or clarity to the timbre, pitch, note, melody and chords.

In other words, it sounds like shit.

And when shit is flying around and into your ears, it’s pretty darn distracting and playing well and with confidence is a whole different ball-game, rather it’s easy to fumble the beat and drop the rhythm when the frequency spectrum is getting jumbled up and lost.

I fumbled a lot when I got up to play for the small but inquisitive audience of local pub-goers. It was difficult but I got us all through it and then got off the stage feeling pretty embarrassed and disappointed in myself. I made to pack my things and leave soon after that but Karen told me I did good and that I should go up and play again. If Karen hadn’t said those encouraging words I know that I would have gotten up and left that night in a pretty dejected state.

I knew within myself that I could do this and I needed to get back to the basics and keep things simple. I asked if anyone would play the drums and bass for me and hold down a rhythm for me. Two older guys bravely signed themselves up for it although I did have to explain that I wasn’t about to play any cover songs! I also plugged into a simpler guitar and amplifier set-up that avoided the P.A which gave me a sound that I could hear much clearer in the mix (with the other instruments). Without thinking much more I just started up a funky rhythm for my new on-stage companions to follow along to and got into some mean ol’ blues.

I had turned it around, with a little encouragement, going from a dejected negative sense of disappointment to a stronger place where I had mastered my mental state and then found a way to make the situation work for me. I turned it around.

That was not the last time I turned it around either. Being bitten by the performing bug, and having a taste of the confidence that only over-coming a big, even huge challenge can bring I wanted more. I scoured out other open mic nights and jam sessions in the nearby towns and villages and made performing for other people a regular habit. Each time feeling a little more capable and yet more confident. I found some amazing individuals in a weekly thursday night jam in Leamington Spa. Tom, Carol, Shanade, Raphael and all the other regulars every Thursday night at The Clarendon for the support, welcome feelings and willingness to just try things out, Thank you, I hope you know who and what you are.
In Soho, London the same thanks of gratitude go to Zu Gutie, Martha Tarre, Tony Brown, the amazing Luis Ávila, and Elain Valdez without whom a very special musical moment would not have happened.

In fact I do not want to stop or lose momentum here, I need to keep playing for people and showing myself that I can overcome great difficulties to make something magic happens that only becomes possible when I convince myself that I can. This is why I am back in America now with some big plans, that lead to even bigger plans (hint: look back up). It has every good chance of happening, I just gotta keep the most important thing in mind, that through the thick and thin and that when the going gets tough, the tough get going and that most of all… I can.

While my hearing loss and 100% reliance on hearing aids i.e. a processed/amplified sound make me in no position to critique the finer details of audio fidelity, I did feel I could offer a perspective on the matter and as I started to write, I realized that the topic encompassed a wider spectrum of thinking and indeed one that tugs at the notion of what we consider song-writing to be.

The brick wall a.k.a “wall of noise” sound that I judged the fan to be referring to is actually pretty prevalent in the genre haphazardly labeled “Post Rock”. Walls of distortion are actually an increasing trend for modern bands, it’s one of the many tonal colors that they employ thanks to ever-expanding pedalboards.

I personally interpret Jakob’s approach to the sonic treatment of their music as an intentional artistic statement and even a necessary compositional tool that allows for the build and release of tension. For example, the contrast in timbre as lush, textured melodies and chord swells descend (or ascend?) into chaos and veils of wailing auto-filtered distortion are key to providing a sense of variety and progression through what are relatively simple chord progressions. In other words where the Beatles showed us their mastery of the pop song compositional structure via II – V – I progressions and intuitive use of dominant chord shapes to build tension, Jakob have achieved (and dare-I-say perfected?) a same end-result through their exacting use of progressively stacked guitar effects. The genius in Jakob’s sound is that with only three instruments they can conjure up a huge and mesmerizing soundscape that wholly consumes your present emotional state-of-being and yet they control these immensely complex moments with great finesse and articulation.

For the sake of a larger context to work with, allow me this brief digression.

Guitarists these days (and even vocalists) are processing the basic sound of their instrument through all manner of sound manipulating devices that you can buy or build as separate units and connect up together. These mini cities devoted to sound processing require much up-front planning to build well and involve the laying down of power supply lines and wired lanes for sounds to traverse along. The velcro-anchored stompboxes (aptly named for the amount of abuse they sustain) consist of distortions, overdrives, delays, reverbs, modulators, filters, wah-wah’s and all manner of foot and MIDI controllers are placed directly below the musicians feet so that they have unprecedented control and adjustment of their sound during live performances. With great power, comes great ability to do sonic evil and it is unfortunate that many bands abuse these layers of sounds and I have noticed that many musicians forgo the basics of instrumental virtuosity in favor of hiding behind the walls of effected sound. They are simply becoming lazy, not willing to dedicate time to mastering their instrument but have figured out that they can still create cool, audience-swooning noises if they stack enough effects on top of each other. This won’t do at all.

I like Jakob so very much because they know that to introduce a clarity back to a heavily effected sound, they need to play precisely and they need to play expressively and they score on all of these fronts. It’s very clever really. Dialing in some very specific settings on their effects, they can create thick, ambient yet (unusually) exactingly rhythmic soundscapes that carry the crucial underlying melodic and harmonic structures. This grounded ability to lock onto a pulse and cyclic movement of riffs is a critical key element for guiding the unsuspecting listener through what is to come…

At times Jakob’s use of distortion is so severe that it masks the melodic and harmonic motifs to the point where your ears become reliant on the imprinted memory of previously played sections to carry you forward. If you are curious to hear this in action then I suggest donning a pair of headphones and closing your eyes for the whole 8:53 minutes of the song ‘Controle‘ from their 2003 album ‘Cale:Drew’.

It took me a while to notice that this “song” actually appears to consist of 16 (or 11 notes depending on how you count the glissando) notes repeated over and over again for the whole 9 minute duration. Surely a recipe for creating a dull and monotonous song if there ever was one however Jakob cunningly have turned conventional compositional song-writing on its head by using an ever-changing texture and slowly morphing timbre of guitar effects to introduce the critical sense of progression and movement through the piece. For Controle starts with the merest utterances of pitches and in fact, begins so quietly that I personally, am not able to hear the first 30 or so seconds of the piece unless I EQ and boost the high frequency shelf to some considerable degree. I do not do this because I enjoy how, with each cycle of the melodic motif, the trio build upon the last played repetition with just enough extra force and intention that the music seemingly drifts into your perceptive awareness out of nothingness and often much later than you consciously realize there is something being birthed.

The cycle continues to build almost imperceptibly with each repeat to the point that there is no place else for the texture of the sound to go and then cunningly, the guitar introduces more effects into the equation and as the plateau is extended further and then reached, yet more effects are compiled to the mix. You are never distinctly aware of the changes to the sound at any time but two-thirds of the way into the piece comes the startling realization that you are being affronted with the sound of chaos. The distortion was so gradually and gracefully introduced that your ear knows exactly where it is in the time and space of the performance that you can still follow along to the climatic throes of the pen-ultimate cycles before finally a final more bare-bones repetition concludes the experience with a dying sigh. If there was ever music to bed a partner with, this is it.

Ah Jakob…
If anything I hope this write-up will turn some other like-minded individuals onto a very evokative and unique band that is well worth investigating, definitely take a full listen to their albums ‘Solace‘ and ‘Cale:Drew‘ on Bandcamp.